Friday, December 17, 2004

The Inscrutable Offside Law

Yes, I love to write about things I don't know anything about. It's because I'm hypersuperficial, but you knew that all along. Today news about the arcane offside law in soccer tickled my fancy. It is just about possible that I know even less about soccer than maths. Perfect. Now it seems that soccer referees may know this rule, but a scientist claims it is humanly impossible to keep track of five moving objects at once.
Whatever next? Will the (five?) referees of future soccer matches be cooped up with cameras and pronounce their decisions like gods from a machine? Do we desperately need hovering cameras such as 'Colin' in Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams? Strictly confined to soccer pitches, of course!
I, for one, was simply invigorated when I found out that it doesn't matter two straws whether you know the offside law or not, because it cannot be implemented properly.

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